I remember years ago hearing a “Focus On The Family” broadcast. I actually ordered it on cassette tape. The broadcast had happy-sad stories to tell. And there was plenty of anger, while much was under the surface. And, of course there was plenty of pain.
But what sort of “Focus On The Family” broadcast would have anger and pain? The sort that would have all but the most vile to feel the same anger and pain. This broadcast was a group interview with women who were raped.
That’s not the entire truth. This broadcast was a group interview with women who were raped and became pregnant as a result.
That’s not the entire truth, either. This broadcast was a group interview with the women who were raped and the children they brought forth to the world as a result of the rape.
The women had excruciatingly painful memories of the rapes. But they made an active decision not to murder their innocent unborn children for the rapes. They also made an active decision to love their innocent children, regardless of how they were conceived.
And, at some point in their innocent children’s lives, these women chose to relive their excruciatingly painful experience with their children, whom they loved. And, while the women seemed to have softened a lot in regard to the pain, the children, who were conceived due to rape, had a lot of anger toward the men who violently attacked their mothers in the most heinous of ways.
All the children, of course, were glad their mothers gave birth to them. And all the children acknowledged a deeply-felt love by their mothers and reciprocated it. But, to the best of my recollection, none of the children regarded their mothers’ rapists as their fathers.
These children, all young-adults, or very nearly young-adults, had nothing but praise for their mothers and for what the strength their mothers had to go through everything a woman has to go through when impregnated by a stranger.
Several of the mothers were single parents for years, and had to go through that ostracization. But they never took it out on the children they loved with all their being. How could they? Their children were part of them. And their children never did them any wrong through all of this.
None of the children were thankful the “Y chromosome-owner” impregnated their mother so they could live. Not one. But they were all thankful their mothers chose life over murdering them.
I guess what I’m saying is, if you’re in a terrible situation because some worthless scum-bag violated you, don’t take it out on an innocent. Even if you cannot handle raising a child, you can do the next-best thing. Find an adoption center near you and talk to them. You can have an open adoption, where the adoptive parents give you regular feed-back, or a closed adoption, where nobody knows nobody. But don’t excecute the baby for something some worthless criminal did.
I will never fully understand what you go through on a daily basis. But I do know it’s not worth knowing that you killed your child to (temporarily) ease the pain.
Always know, despite your trauma, that God loves you and will help you through your anguish. You have only to ask. And there are many pro-life organizations out there just waiting for you to reach out to them.
John asked me to share why this hits home to me– a friend of mine is like these kids. Born of rape.
What he reports on the broadcast saying, I can say I’ve seen first-hand, from twenty years down the road– it’s accurate.
I don’t call a lot of folks “friend,” to let you know what kind of person this person is– one of the few folks Elf and I associated with that has no geek traits, just a good person. Not perfect, but a real pleasure to be around.
My friend’s mother is very religious, so she never considered abortion, and even married a man my friend now considers “dad” and “father”– the sperm donor is less than nothing.
Please. If some scum has hurt you, don’t hurt the kid– they are as much a victim as you are, and that baby can grow into a wonderful, funny, caring, delightful person, if you’ll give them that chance.
Cross Posted at Truth Before Dishonor