BREAKING NEWS: Hillary Clinton is not a lesbian!
- Hillary Clinton: I’m not a lesbian
Hillary Clinton officially declared she’s not a lesbian - not that there’s anything wrong with that.
During an interview with The Advocate to be published next week, Sean Kennedy, the gay magazine’s news and features editor, asked the presidential candidate, “How do you respond to the occasional rumor that you’re a lesbian?”
“People say a lot of things about me, so I really don’t pay any attention to it,” Sen. Clinton (D-N.Y.) replied.
“It’s not true, but it is something that I have no control over. People will say what they want to say.”
Kennedy told the Daily News he’s convinced. “I 100% believe she’s a straight, heterosexual woman,” he said.
Well, I knew it all along. I remember the cover story from the Weekly World News, in which it was revealed that the then First Lady had an affair with a space alien, a male space alien. The cover also noted that her husband was shocked, saying, “I thought she was gay.”
In related news:
- Angelina Jolie says she’s slept with four men
Actress tells magazine she married two of those guys; no word on women
LOS ANGELES - For all the talk and insinuations of her promiscuity, Angelina Jolie says she’s only slept with four men.
In an interview with Britain’s Cosmopolitan magazine, the sexy star said she has only “slept with four men in my life — and I married two of them!â€
Of course, Angelina has also been linked to various women over the years, including her former “Foxfire†co-star Jenny Shimizu.
And Brian thought that this stuff wasn’t important! Sheesh! 
Patterico’s Pontifications » Hillary Clinton Tries to Prove Herself to the Liberal Left:
[...] Sorry, but Senatrix Clinton can’t prove herself to the liberal left, since she has denied being a lesbian. [...]
21 September 2007, 3:22 pmnk:
Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she’s pregnant. She is furious… Here she’s in the middle of her first run for president, and as Senator of New York this has happened to her.
She calls home, gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming. “How could you have let this happen? With all that’s going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you? I can’t believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault! Your fault! Well, what have you got to say?”
There is nothing but dead silence on the phone.
She screams again, “Did you hear me?”
Finally she hears Bill’s very, very quiet voice.
In a barely audible whisper, he says, “Who is this?”
21 September 2007, 9:11 pmcbmc:
don’t quit your day job, nk
22 September 2007, 9:52 amDonald Douglas:
Well, important or not, it keeps people buzzing. Hillary can’t alienate the power gay lobby, in any case!
22 September 2007, 10:15 amArt Downs:
Just what did she do on that camping trip with Donna Shalala?
25 September 2007, 1:06 pm